The title that I initially wrote was – how to suppress that desire to flee to Mordor, when a person asks you what you are doing with your life? I feel like half of the population would definitely agree to it.
I don’t think I even need to introduce you to the desperate and paralyzing sensation of having wasted every minute of your life; because we all know it.
Surrounded by a seemingly glossy and glamorous world, where young kids write codes for a new social network, celebrities are flashing perfect selfies on Instagram and people cashing in big bucks just by making goofy videos about their lives.. well, of course the average young and unemployed person feels like utter shit about their time and has to pull an “American Psycho” smile every time your family asks how you are doing!
Because comparison is your worst companion. It doesn’t make you see things for what they really are; it shows you lies and then kicks your ass just to get you even further in the black hole of self-pity you have been digging around since you befriended that popular kid on Facebook.
And when I say lies, I just mean your approximate idea of a successful person being associated with a young, fit and healthy person. Hell, We are all comparing ourselves to people with 100K likes looks, Spongebob’s work ethic and the altruism of Malala Yousafzai! No shit we are all feeling like Squidward!
But don’t feel weird. Everyone is guilty of it and simply because it’s human.
Like the quote says, humans are the only animals that keep track of time, and even when you have been binge-watching on Orange Is The New Black instead of working on that project, you are still a victim of your concept of time.
I know exactly how it feels to have that feeling of being under a cold shower, when you realize that your life is slipping away like sand through your fingers. We go to work, exercise and maybe do the right things – like meditate and do yoga; but when you’re laying in bed, it feels just inevitable that your mind will go and knock on that door that is always open.
But I would like to invite everyone and my own ass to stop and pour tea and sugar à-la-Alice in Wonderland over these clocks and free ourselves from this big FOROT (Fear of Running Out of TIme).
- Stay away from social media when your FOROT is bad – Looking through the profile of that beautiful person doing yoga and getting paid to travel the world is probably not going to inspire you when you are sitting on the floor, crying because you didn’t get an entry-level job you have worked so hard for. There is time and place for inspiration. Look at puppies and read something that soothes you and doesn’t make you feel inadequate. Block them, if you have to.
- Not all social media is bad – The thing with social media is that you gotta be realistic about it. There is nothing wrong with the person sharing their beautiful life, while traveling the world sponsored by brands and sharing it with you. What is fundamental to avoid that urge of curling up in a ball and avoid life is just to understand that social media isn’t a realistic portrait of people’s lives, exactly like McDondald’s burgers not living up to its ADS expectations. She may have spent thousounds of hours to create content that could gain followers and exposure for brands to sponsor her. Maybe a gal cans share a butt-selfie for her own pleasure and not to upset anyone, because we are all different. As long as you are aware of the filters, the nasty edited out of a 10-second Snapchat story, then social media won’t make you upset.
- if time is running out, where is it running from? – Identify where you are wasting time and why you are wasting it. We are all doomed to do things that we don’t feel like doing, because someone has got to do them. The difference is that some things are to be done in order to keep going forward, and as long as you know where you’re going and you can tolerate it, then that’s all you need to know and care about it. If you feel like you’re wasting too much time on your art and not on your job, maybe it’s a sign that your art makes you happy and you might be able to make cash from it? Or maybe not and you need some sort of priority system. YOU know. Nobody else does, so listen to yourself.
- Focus on the things that matter to you – When you are fulfilled with things that help you expressing yourself and encourage you to share a piece with this crazy world; you simply stop dwelling over time. Have you noticed how fast time goes when you have fun? It’s not going fast, you are simply too busy enjoying your life that you don’t care about anything else that upsets you. Time might be fake, but it is certainly short for us humans, so better stop giving the time and the day to toxic people, people trying to sell you products, or negativity.
- Meditate to live in the present – The real struggle is born when you are stuck between your anxiety from the past – which always seems like it has never helped you enough – your present, which you can only see through the eyes of the past and the future that gives you approximate calculations and expectations of what you life MIGHT BE.
- Now, meditation is cool because it helps you leaving this really uncomfortable and painful threesome you find yourself in. By tuning into yourself, you finally realize that this shit..actually doesn’t matter, or make any sense. Everyone suffers, everyone is desperate, and the only thing you can do is to keep going and realize that obsessing over the past or next minute is just a waste of time. It’s only by staying in the present that you actually enjoy your life, because you can’t form any comparisons in things that are happening!
And my final last advice is: if you are alive, you got time.
And I don’t mean in a Nike ads and the Instagram fitness blogger kind of way.
We all know that it’s not about just doing it, or making the most of it. Some people simply can’t and it’s because we live in unfair and unprivileged world. Some people can’t just build a company, or learn the piano in a week, or go traveling; because they have responsibilities they are tied up to and sometimes they have their own limits.
Again, you have got to be realistic. And being present develops the “realistic” muscle.
Know your limits and base your goals around what you can work with one step at the time. The limit is the sky, but you have to be able to walk on Earth first, dude.
But it’s never too late; that’s for sure.
As long as you’re alive, you will always have time to learn, laugh, fall in love, travel, graduate, or feel like shit.
If you start squeezing even five minutes of your time to something that you love, you will slowly feel like life doesn’t need to have a purpose to be enjoyed, and will eventually understand that the pressures we put ourselves against with…they are just made by people like us.